Letters to my former self

Dear Lighthearted, Playful, Youthful Stephanie,
Enjoy being a child...spending long summer days in Harrison Maine at Grammy and Grandpas camp water skiing, boating, and swimming. Watching movies at the magic lantern and quick stops to the candy stores! Beautiful summer nights at Harrison Old Days even if they include slipping in puke after someone threw up on the pirate ship. You will never get these times back with your entire family. Mom, Dad, Jenny, Grandpa, Grammy, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins. You will never forget weekends in Maine with everyone! Spend as many weekend as you can at Grammy's house on Revere beach. She loves when you spend the night and you both always have a blast! You will forever treasure those lunches with Grammy and trips to get a new book or crossword puzzle. Listen to the wisdom and stories your Grandparents have to share with you. When you are older you will never forget those stories. Enjoy every second of this time now and don't stop enjoying it when you get to become a teen and are too cool to hang out with your family.

Dear 16 Year Old Stephanie,
It's senior year of High School, enjoy every last second of it. You are going to grow up a lot quicker than you ever imagined you would. You will meet some lifetime friends who will go with you on this roller coaster of life. You will fall in love but he will probably tell you he is going to sign up to be come a United States Marine. At the time you don't realize how much it is going to influence your own life and future. Don't stop him though, it makes him the man he is today.

Dear Newly Engaged Stephanie,
Remember that boy I told you about in High School? Well, he went into the United States Marine Corps. He successfully completed boot camp, got stationed in Virginia, Georgia, and North Carolina. He's deploying to Iraq in a couple of months...and guess what? You are going to marry him. You stayed home in Massachusetts while he was stationed in all different places. Let me just tell you long distance relationships are not fun. However, it will all be worth it in the end. Just a few weeks before he has to deploy you two will have an extravagant wedding. It will be perfect. Don't stress over anything. The atmosphere of that night will be like a fairytale. Everyone will have an amazing time. You will be blessed to be surrounded by everyone who loves you except for Grammy Charlene who was watching over everyone that night making it perfect!

Dear New Wife Stephanie,
Your married...and he's gone. Its not exactly the life of a newlywed you had dreamed about. You are married but he's deployed to Iraq for 7 very long months. He will be ok. He will make it home safely. Let your family and friends take you out places and spend time with you. Don't sit at home wondering if he is ok. Keeping yourself busy is the only way to make this time pass quickly. Before you know it you will be waiting for that bus to pull up to Camp lejeune North Carolina and there will be your Marine. It will be one of the greatest moments of your life. He is home now....for good. Now the life you imagined can begin.

Dear Pregnant Stephanie,
Morning sickness has gotten the best of you. Do your best to enjoy being pregnant. Other than the never ending all day month after month morning sickness you have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby growing inside you. Be grateful for that. Don't bother fighting over boy names. It's a Girl! She will be perfect...She will be born one day after your due date so don't stress about going 2 weeks past and needing a c-section she will come when she is ready.

Dear New Mommy Stephanie,
She's here! She's perfect! You didn't know love until you held her in your arms. You had no idea what people meant about a mothers love until that very moment. You will see your husband in a whole new perspective. He is a better father than you could have ever imagined. He will take over while you are resting in the hospital, don't worry about a thing he has it all under control. Including changing the very 1st diaper and giving the first bath. Don't bother attempting to breast feed. It will send you on an emotional roller coaster when your milk never comes in. It's ok, formula is not poison. Just enjoy every second of you itty bitty tiny infant. Cliche or not she will grow up far too fast!

Dear Present Day Stephanie,
Life is good. You have a supporting family, great friends, a husband who adores you, and a daughter who makes you laugh smile and cry. Stop stressing about a spotless house. Chores will get done. Remember to take a few minutes to yourself each day. It makes you a better mother and Olivia deserves the best. Keep running, it relieves stress and you will get to that half marathon don't let little bumps in the road stop you. Live everyday like it is your last.